Newspapers of the Uncanny Highway

Tags

1960s, 1970s, Americana fantasy, Cryptozoological Creature, Cryptozoology, fortean phenomona, forteana, Gothic America, Groovy Era, magic realism, Midwest Horror, modern fantasy, Prairie Horror, Road Crawl, Road Trip, Roadcrawl, Roadtrip, sci fi, science-fiction, Seventies, Sixties, Small Town Horror, Southern Gothic, Urban Fantasy, Weird America

The Groovy Era of the late 1960s and 1970s had a very different media environment than today. Print newspapers were as ubiquitous as cigarettes also were, and characters driving the Uncanny Highway would be able to pick up a local paper at almost any Gas Station, Truck Stop, or Motel along their route. In the days before the corporate conglomerations and media consolidations of the 1980s and 1990s, almost every small town in America would have it’s own independently-owned newspaper dedicated to local news – and that paper could be seen atop every kitchen table in town.

To maintain pacing in an un-directed “crawl” such as the Uncanny Highway setting, the Game Master must provide Players with a plethora of “hooks” constituting suggested possible courses of action. Local Newspapers are one way to introduce them.

In addition to using the tables given here, additional news stories can be constructed from Tables 34 and 38 in “Small Towns of the Uncanny Highway Part VI”, or the “Events”, “Encounters” or “Secrets” tables for any location of the Uncanny Highway.

Table 1: Newspaper Name

25% chance the name is a compound, such as “News-Tribune” or “Post-Examiner”. If so, roll twice on the table, ignoring duplicated names.

d20	The Newspaper along this Section of Highway is the [Town Name]…
1 – 2	News.
3 – 4	Journal.
5 – 6	Post.
7	Independent.
8	Gazette.
9	Leader.
10	Examiner.
11	Tribune.
12	Ombudsman.
13	Oracle.
14	Press.
15	Daily.
16	Record.
17	Ledger.
18	Reporter.
19	Sentinel.
20	Chronicle.

To determine the [Town Name], see SMALL TOWNS Table 1: Name of a Small Town.

Table 2: Newspaper Lead Story

d20, d20	Today’s lead story is…
1	“Headless Body Found in…	…[Town Name]”.
2	“Murder at…	…a Local Truck Stop”.
3	“Woman Disappears From…	…a Local Gas Station”.
4	“Explosion in…	…a Local Motel”.
5	“Fire in…	…a Local Eatery”.
6	“U.F.Os Seen over…	…a Local Farm”.
7	“Killer Stalks…	…a Local Bar”.
8	“F.B.I Raids…	…a Local Drive-In”.
9	“Tragic Accident in…	…a Local Trailer Park”.
10	“Gang Attacks…	…a Local Museum”.
11	“Strange Creature Seen at…	…a Local Church”.
12	“Purported Haunting in…	…a Local Amusement Park”.
13	“Missing Girl Found in…	…a Local Souvenir Shop”.
14	“Missing Boy Found in…	…a Local Grocery Store”.
15	“Fugitive Found in…	…a Local Library”.
16	“Shootout in…	…a Local School”.
17	“IRS raids…	…a Local Hospital”.
18	“Collapse in/at…	…a Local Drugstore / Pharmacy”.
19	“Highway Accident near…	…a Local park”.
20	“Child Abducted From…	…a House on the Highway”.

Table 3: Strange News Stories

These stories reflect some of the peculiar obsessions of the Groovy Era, such as the Bermuda Triangle, and spoon-bending.

d100	The strangest headline in the paper reads…
1 – 2	“The Coming Ice Age!”
3 – 4	“Can a Psychic Solve a Kidnapping?”
5 – 6	“The Killer Bees – Are They Here Already?”
7 – 8	“Will Our Children be Cyborgs?”
9 – 10	“When Fish Fall From the Sky”
11 – 12	“Are Plants Psychic?”
13 – 14	“Can You Bend Spoons With Your Mind?”
15 – 16	“Is the Holy Grail Hidden in America?”
17 – 18	“Can the Dead Speak Through Spirit Mediums?”
19 – 20	“Secret Government Research Into E.S.P”
21 – 22	“Is Parapsychology a Real Science?”
23 – 24	“Can This Man Repair Car Engines With His Mind?”
25 – 26	“The Science of Clairvoyance”
27 – 28	“Teleportation in Fact and Fiction”
29 – 30	“Spontaneous Human Combustion – The Facts”
31 – 32	“Atlantis – Fact or Fiction?”
33 – 34	“Does Bigfoot Stalk the Forests?”
35 – 36	“Ancient Astronauts in America”
37 – 38	“The Bermuda Triangle – Fact and Fiction”
39 – 40	“Phone Calls From the Dead”
41 – 42	“Faith Healing and Modern Medicine”
43 – 44	“The Curse of the Pharaohs in an American Museum”
45 – 46	“The Mysterious Disappearance of Roanoke”
47 – 48	“Nostradamus’ Predictions for America”
49 – 50	“What’s Happening at Area 51?”
51 – 52	“Do Living Things Have Auras?”
53 – 54	“Can Men Become Beasts?”
55 – 56	“Are Escaped Nazis Here in America?”
57 – 58	“Reincarnation – Fact or Fiction?”
59 – 60	“Is Astrology Better Than Psychology?”
61 – 62	“Is Princess Anastasia Still Alive?”
63 – 64	“Acupuncture – the Ancient Practice is the New Miracle Cure”
65 – 66	“Is Noah’s Ark in the Rocky Mountains?”
67 – 68	“Did Vikings Discover America?”
69 – 70	“Are the Dinosaurs Really Extinct?”
71 – 72	“Will Computers Become Sentient?”
73 – 74	“Cryogenics – Fraud, or the Future?”
75 – 76	“Dowsing for Water and Oil”
77 – 78	“The Truth About Demonic Possession”
79 – 80	“Satanic Cults in America”
81 – 82	“Is Paganism the Religion of the Future?”
83 – 84	“Do Tarot Card Predict the Future?”
85 – 86	“Did the Chinese Discover America?”
87 – 88	“Can Ghosts be Photographed?”
89 – 90	“The Missing Link Found in America”
91 – 92	“Is the Antichrist Alive Already?”
93 – 94	“Haunted Cars on the Highway”
95 – 96	“Do Aliens Live Among Us?”
97 – 98	“The Curse of Robert Johnson”
99 – 100	“Can you Make Love With a Ghost?”

Table 4: Today’s Horoscope

d12, d12	Your sign’s daily horoscope reads…
1	Love..	…will come your way.
2	A new friend…	…will be found in an unexpected place.
3	A secret enemy…	…is just around the corner.
4	New opportunity…	…will manifest in the coming weeks.
5	Money…	…will suddenly appear when you least expect it.
6	Happiness…	…will look like something else when you find it.
7	Heartbreak…	…is just the beginning of your interesting month.
8	The answer you’ve been seeking…	…is more than you even expect.
9	A change of fortune…	…will become obvious shortly.
10	Some good news…	…can be transformed by your decisions, so take care.
11	The job of your dreams…	…is just your Karma working itself out.
12	Something lost…	…is part of your Soul Purpose, so have faith.

Table 5: Most Notable Advertisement in a Newspaper

d20	The ad that really catches your eye is for…
1	an Amusement or Theme Park.
2	a Bar or Roadhouse.
3	a Church.
4	a Drive-In Theater.
5	a Diner, Restaurant, or Eatery.
6	a Farm that sells directly to public.
7	a Gas Station.
8	a Motel.
9	a Mystery Spot or Gravity Hill. With Amenities.
10	a Roadside Museum.
11	a Souvenir Shop.
12	a Trailer Park, with vacant lots available.
13	a Truck Stop.
14 – 20	A local business in the nearest town.

Roll again is there is no such business located anywhere along this 100-mile Section of road.

Table 6: Letters to the Editor

d8	The most notable letter to the editor is…
1	barely literate,..
2	poorly articulated,…
3	filled with self-contradictory statements,…
4	filled with unnecessarily bigoted statements,…
5	filled with random capitalizations and misused words,…
6	full of non-sequiturs,…
7	practically word-salad,…
8	surprisingly rational and well-reasoned,…

d6	…it is apparently…
1 – 3	in favor…
4 – 5	critical…
6	an attempt at an unbiased examination…

d20	…of…
1	the Vietnam War,…
2	the President’s economic policies,…
3	the President’s social policies,…
4	marijuana legalization,…
5	increased environmental regulation,…
6	busing to desegregate schools,…
7	legal abortion,…
8	nuclear power,…
9	Swinging,…
10	Feminism,…
11	Astrology,…
12	Gay Rights,…
13	Vegetarianism,…
14	détente with Soviet Union,…
15	normalizing relations with the People’s Republic of China,…
16	space exploration and funding for NASA,…
17	teaching Evolution in schools,…
18	movie censorship,…
19	self-help groups,…
20	the United Nations,…

d20	…and is actually…
1 – 11	exactly what it appears to be.
12	coded instructions for C.I.A. agents operating in the area.
13	coded instructions for K.G.B agents operating in the area.
14	coded instructions for disguised Extraterrestrials living in the area.
15	a coded letter from a serial killer, indicating where they will strike next.
16	a coded prediction of the next week’s world events.
17	coded directions to a stash of buried gold.
18	a coded communication from a supposedly dead celebrity to the “handler” in charge of them.
19	coded directions to a secret auction of recovered alien technology.
20	a coded ritual to summon the Devil.

Table 7: Movie Reviews

See the appropriate tables in DRIVE-IN THEATERS to determine the movie title, and most memorable part of the film.

d6	The review is…
1	scathingly critical.
2	generally bad.
3 – 4	that the movie is unexceptional in any way.
5	generally good.
6	extremely favorable.

Table 8: Help Wanted Ads

d20	Characters running out of money could find work at a nearby….
1	Main Industry. See SMALL TOWNS Table 5: Main Industry of a Small Town.
2	Truck Stop.
3	Gas Station.
4	Motel.
5	Eatery.
6	Farm.
7	Bar.
8	Drive-In.
9	Museum.
10	Amusement Park.
11	Souvenir Shop.
12	Grocery Store.
13	Library.
14	School.
15	Bookstore.
16	Drugstore / Pharmacy.
17	Funeral Home /Mortuary.
18	Automotive Garage.
19	Gun Shop.
20	Trucking Company.

The Engine of Oracles

~ Daniel James Hanley's Creations For Gaming. Home of the Ghastly Affair RPG.